Rant: An Open Letter to the Idiots Running Louisiana

*cracks knuckles*

To the Legislature:
What the hell are you people thinking? Are you smoking crack or something, you idiots? I'm betting with the raise you people just gave yourselves, you could probably afford a LOT of it.

The roads are in as poor a shape as ever, vital employees like teachers, firefighters and police officers are getting shafted in terms of pay, the coastline is continuing to be claimed by the Gulf, New Orleans still has crap for hurricane protection, a lot of Katrina refugees are still waiting to clear Road Home red tape and the economy is collapsing like a Minnesota bridge, and yet you idiots go and vote yourself a pay raise to DOUBLE your pay for essentially a part-time job?

I've heard the rationale, time to come in with my verbal Walther P38 and blow some holes in all of it.

First off, you're not getting paid enough. BULL! The pay is plenty enough for what it is, a part-time job... and the per diem you get paid isn't even counted in. Basically, you don't have to pay your own way while the Legislature is in session. Not to mention that the lobbyists can come in, even with the new limits, and wine and dine you until even your souls and dignity are forfeit. You idiots get so many perks that the salary doesn't matter. If I got a per diem and could eat on the lobbyists' dime, I'd do the damned job for free! As if power and perks aren't enough, you need more money too? Screw that. Go get real jobs if you're hurting for cash. Or propose a more moderate raise, or tie the CURRENT salaries to Congressional pay or the Consumer Price Index.

Second, you want to lure in more qualified candidates to run for office. Considering the amount of nepotism and providing for friends on the public dime, what it basically means is that you want to hook them up even more. If it's not family, it's friends, and if it's not friends, it's people you groom to take over from you. Aside from that, public service is supposed to be about public service, not fattening your damn wallets!

Third, other states pay their legislators and senators (or equivalents) more, why shouldn't we? Because, again, you're only working part time. We're not Texas. We're not California. You're not in session all the time like Congress. Next time you want to say "...well, other states pay more..." look at the damn workload first!

In short, I hope you enjoy these raises you voted for yourselves, and in the meantime, I suggest you update your resumes. You're going to need to look for work when all the enraged voters throw you all out on your asses.

And to those of you who voted against this asinine bill and refused to take the raise, thank you! Thank you for showing that at least a couple of you have some capability to do the right thing and listen to the people that sent you to Baton Rouge in the first place.

To Gov'nuh Bobby:
Shame on you, you lying spineless COWARD! I see the stories, you're saying the Legislature's screwing up, that they're making a mistake, yet you refuse to veto that mistake? You, sir, are an idiot. They'll be laughing all the way to the bank, not feeling remorse or anything. You promised us when you got elected that you would stamp out crap like this! You're going to be just like Blanco, a one-term failure. Unlike Blanco, though, your hugest blunder will be all on you. You can't blame the feds, FEMA, ICF or Mother Nature for this one.

Better take McCain's veep slot now while you still have some sort of political future, because like the legislators, the voters are going to toss you out on your ass as well.